


Happiness is a voluntary muscle

by luffywhatelse



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Captain x Navigator, Character Analysis, F/M, Feels, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Introspection, Introspective Luffy, Late at Night, Luffy deserves a hug, Luffy x Nami, Lunami, Male-Female Friendship, Nakama, Nakamaship, New World, One Shot, POV Monkey D. Luffy, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Ship, Teen Romance, Thoughtful Luffy, introspective, savior, tipsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luffywhatelse/pseuds/luffywhatelse
Summary: She was sleeping in his bed.He didn't know... he wasn't sure what really happened.She made him feel uneasy, as if he wasn't... just as pure as he seemed. Sometimes he had happened to think, for no particular reason, that the reason why, in the first period, she didn't want to join him - them - was because she wasn't right. Or good or... pure? Did she once believe that he was like everyone else? That he wanted to keep her in a cage?She was free as long as she was with him.Here, this was the thought that troubled him. Really."You are MY nakama!"Didn't he say that when he helped her? And after removing those chains, hadn't he replaced them - unconsciously, he was sure - replaced with others (more pleasant and soft) around her thin ankles, to say that she was his? He claimed her long ago. So he wanted her for himself. Wanting her free and wanting her for himself were two things that inevitably clashed with each other. For this reason, every now and then, he didn't feel comfortable.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Nami
Comments: 8
Kudos: 95





	Happiness is a voluntary muscle

**Author's Note:**

> I know very well that, as said by Oda himself some time ago, Luffy "doesn't think much". But unlike what has been said, Luffy seemed to be thoughtful in several situations. And so I once again paid tribute to Luffy's depth, which will never be appreciated enough.

She was sleeping.  
He didn't know... he wasn't sure what really happened.

*

It all began quite normally. It was late at night, one of many between one adventure and another. The crew spent the whole evening drinking and they were all pretty drunk, until, exhausted, ended up sleeping like babies. He was hungry, he said to himself, he kept repeating it like a song's tune; but this was not important.

In short, he took his hat and headed for the kitchen, muttering and hoping that Sanji wasn't lurking behind the door with a frying pan in his hand. Instead he arrived there safely.

He saw her. She was drinking some concoction - he thought lazily as he watched her - and scrawled her papers. Probably she was thinking about the route they had to take, but he was never interested in those things. However she looked up and _puffed_. So they started some silly - really nonsense - squabble, and he forgot why he got up. But then she asked him and he remembered it - a delicious meatball -, but not even this detail was so essential.

As soon as he finished eating about forty meatballs sitting next to Nami at the table, she got up and he watched her go out the door. Then he was about to follow her and go back to sleep but Nami said, "Will you come with me?"

He didn't understand - not yet - why he should have, since he had a room for himself. The fact is that he opened his mouth and answered, "No, I'm going to sleep in my bed."

Then, when he saw her go to the library, he found out why she had asked that strange question – to think about it, it was all so strange that it seemed like a dream.

When they got the new ship, Luffy had asked Franky to put a nice desk for her in the new library; "Mahogany," she had commented on seeing it for the first time. Convinced that it was a compliment, he replied "Thanks." And he had got his butt kicked.

So that was what she meant! She didn't want him to follow her into her room. She had this desk and, since she had to – _did she have to?_ – work a little more on her nautical charts, she preferred to be comfortable.

But at the desk, in the library... not in his room! In fact, what he had been trying to remember for a few minutes as soon as he woke up, was what the hell was she doing in his bed. Not that something really happened. And not that he was particularly annoyed by the situation; not even sorry, to be honest. There was room for both. But what confused him was not understanding why she was there.

He was a little scared to find her in front of him. Maybe... maybe he was just blown away. After all, he didn't remember much of what had happened – what should have ever happened? - before dozing off. It was not even his fault because, once he satisfied his hunger, he got kind of sleepy and, hell, it was also 3:00 in the morning. If there had to be something strange in all this, it was her. He had decided to go back to sleep and believed that in a short time she would have finished her work. He got undressed and got to bed, finding very easy to picture her sitting at that _Mahogany_ table, her hair falling over her shoulders, wrapped in a cotton shirt; in his head he was imagining her yawning and brushing a copper strand of hair from her forehead, too focused, as always when she did that kind of things; her eyes sparkling even if she was tired... and maybe a little tipsy. He had wondered if she too felt tiredness or something. And, thinking about that, he had fallen asleep.

Until, he turned around awakened by a continuous tickle on the back of his neck, realizing that it was her breathing. She was lying no more than two inches away from him. Now he was completely awake and focused, and she was sleeping.

However he still didn't understand what she was doing there.

 _What if I wake her up?_ he thought, _maybe I could shake her a little._

He bit his lower lip, painfully aware that he had been mulling over what to do for a while, afraid of her reaction. It was dawn. He saw the first rays of the sun settle on her shoulders... her _naked_ shoulders?

It's not that he couldn't go back to sleep, but it was in his nature, he was instinctively curious, so it was obvious that he wanted to wake her up and ask, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Mmmh..." she muttered.

He held his breath. _Is she getting up? No, no, she's just sleeping._ He sighed softly and lay down again.

_... And what happened between the two of us?_

If only Sanji had known about it... sometimes, rarely, his friends talked about it. About girls. Actually, Sanji _always_ talked about it. And Usopp, when he felt particularly inspired, told about him and a beautiful blonde princess who must have been Kaya; Zoro slept. He listened for a while, but was always bored. 

Another thing Luffy didn't understand.

But at the time, he was aware that if Sanji had walked into their room he would have mercilessly slaughtered him - Luffy almost laughed when he realized it - and he also knew that having Nami sleeping beside him was both weird and funny. He looked around and the only one who was sleeping in the boys' room, apart from the two of them, was Chopper.

Occasionally he thought of each of his companions. Sometimes he thought of her too. What could he say about her? That she wasn't making him sleep, he admitted smiling. She was... very strange.

The best navigator, very clever... vulnerable and lethal at the same time. Greedy but also affectionate in some way. And beautiful.

She was many things... in fact he found it difficult to describe her. He had always believed he had a sort of gift, to see a certain beauty, beyond the physical one, in the people he chose for his companions; to be able to find... _special_ details.

All of his nakamas were special, and so was she. But... when he thought of her, he spontaneously said "Dunno!" because, well, he couldn't – again that word – _understand_ her.

Nami was very independent. Free. She couldn't stand cages and if someone tried to catch her she would scratch him; a wild dangerous cat. Very cute, but risky. Evil? No. But what annoyed him, and he secretly liked, was the fact that whenever someone tried to grab her, define her, exclaim: " _This_ is who you are," she would always find a way to escape, to deny it, to reply: "See? You will never reach me."

And just thinking about wanting to define her made him feel bad about himself, because he wasn't like that...

 _Like that_ what?

She made him feel uneasy, as if he wasn't... just as pure as he seemed. Sometimes he had happened to think, for no particular reason, that the reason why, in the first period, she didn't want to join him - _them_ \- was because she wasn't right. Or good or... pure? Did she once believe that he was like everyone else? That he wanted to keep her in a cage?

In fact, maybe he hadn't caught up with her yet. He had chased her, yes, for long and continually. But when it came to _win_ her... he can't do that. And it was a side of her that he admired, in fact. But it also got him mad. "But..." he said to himself, "This wasn't our deal!" He was tempted to stomp his feet like a kid, "It's not fair, I won't let you go. I don't want to sail without you, I don't want to continue my journey - _my life_ \- without you" he had almost thought, watching her leave with the Going Merry a long time ago, tied to nobody, not even him, and... alone.

 _Alone_. Maybe it had been that too. _Being alone is more painful than being hurt._ Instead she now had him. _Them_. They were all friends.

He didn't want her to be alone, he just wanted her to be happy, to smile and maybe stay by his side. He couldn't force her, because perhaps, _perhaps_ , the moment he did she would have really left him – but he really cared about her and hoped to be able to let her know.

She always kept him off balance, surprised him, she was like the wind... she had a thousand shades and was constantly changing; biting cold but she kept him going. She was strong, _oh, stubborn_ and fragile, she was... many things. And he almost admitted to himself, "no way you're getting her, you know." Yet it was fine, because she was beside him.

At least, he had tied her to himself with friendship and gratitude.

But, he wondered for the first time on that strange night, was it really all right? Was this... _consolation_ really enough? What if one day she decided to leave? He didn't believe it would really happen, but he never had a certainty, and if she really wanted to...

He certainly wouldn't force her to...

... Would it be all right?

He repeated to himself that she could live as she liked most - was travelling with him the way she likes the most? She was born to be free, loved and hated. Like everyone else. She was amazing and smart; she was bitter and at the same time so good that she made his heart went boom... and if she cried then it was the end of everything.

She was free as long as she was with him.

Here, this was the thought that troubled him. Really.

_"You are MY nakama!"_

Didn't he say that when he helped her? And after removing those chains, hadn't he replaced them - unconsciously, he was sure - replaced with others (more pleasant and soft) around her thin ankles, to say that she was his? He claimed her long ago. So he wanted her for himself. Wanting her free and wanting her for himself were two things that inevitably clashed with each other. For this reason, every now and then, he didn't feel comfortable.

But he was her savior and, after he had claimed her as his nakama in Arlong Park, she replied "Yes", he remembered it perfectly. And anyway she had chosen to be with him – _them_. After all, he really didn't have to worry.

It was just something, still small and hidden, which perhaps would have grown larger with time but only if he had paid attention to it. And which he preferred to avoid. 

But in the end, what did it matter why she _voluntarily_ chose to follow him? And what did it matter why he _voluntarily_ chose her and only her?

Maybe... he didn't even want to know why she had come with him, _to_ him, whether it was that night or the beginning of their journey together.

Perhaps it was better to leave things as they were, and silently wait for an uncertain awakening. Because exploring in total uncertainty had always been thrilling for him.


End file.
